In the last week, conservatives have railed against the USPS, whether Kamala Harris is fit to to serve as Vice President, and…. *checks notes* a song about pussy? Commentators like Ben Shapiro have spent the last few days of the 2020 hellscape news cycle hand-wringing about “WAP,” which stands for “wet-ass-pussy.” It’s Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s newest single, and it rules.
So why are media heads rolling? For one thing, the song focuses on female bodies, and Black ones specifically. Lyrics like, “He bought a phone just for pictures of this wet-ass pussy/Pay my tuition just to kiss me on this wet-ass pussy/Now make it rain if you wanna see some wet-ass pussy” make it clear that women are in charge in the bedroom. That’s scary to some, who would prefer their partners be quiet, meek, and mild, and who certainly can’t imagine a Black woman telling a man what to do.
Shapiro’s criticism was in part that “this is what the feminist movement fought for.” He meant it was uncouth, unacceptable, and unattractive for women to own their sexuality and have careers. He meant feminism couldn’t be about sexuality AND equal rights. It blew his mind to know women love sex, that women are complex and creative, and that there’s nothing immoral or wrong about pleasure.
They Don’t Treat Men The Same Way
In what may be the greatest self-own in history, Shapiro tweeted his “doctor wife” is never that wet and said she diagnosed people with extremely wet vaginas with medical conditions. We’ll talk more about the importance of vaginal lubrication in a second, but first it’s worth mentioning that we’ve never seen Shapiro or many of the media critics currently tongue-wagging complain about songs like “Slob On My Knob.”
“ Slob On My Knob,” the poetic classic by rap group Three 6 Mafia, was a huge early 00’s hit when it debuted. We don’t remember a single talking head whine about the lyrics, or how they were extremely anti-feminist.
Ruminate on such gems as “Slob on my knob/Like corn on the cob,” and “Juicy is my name/Sex is my game/Squeeze on my nuts/Lick on my butt.” Truly prolific. While rap artists have long been the target of racism in the media, nobody complained about a “juicy” penis. We’ve never read a single commentary about the feminist qualities of songs like these, and we’ve certainly never heard medical criticisms about men who seemingly can’t get it up without someone there to help.
Yes, the lack of gender equity is infuriating. But perhaps even more concerning is the media’s absolute lack of knowledge about vulvas and the people who have them. It seems they don’t know a lubricated vagina indicates arousal, and that in some cases, if a vagina isn’t wet somebody hasn’t done their job. Foreplay is incredibly important and one of the best ways to help your partner’s vagina self-lubricate. In fact, several OGBYNs reacted to Shapiro’s tweet and said lubricated vaginas are healthy and normal.
What Does A Healthy Vagina Do To Lubricate Itself?
Vaginas are generally pretty moist, as a rule of thumb. Cervical fluid and secretions from the
Bartholin glands help keep the vagina lubricated, and during arousal, the glands secrete extra fluid to aid in pleasure and reduce friction. This extra fluid can be called “arousal fluid.” Once you’re fully physically sexually aroused it’s normal to feel vaginal sensations, swelling, and sufficient wetness.
There are several things that can make it easier or more difficult to secret enough arousal fluid, including:
- Fluctuating estrogen levels throughout the menstrual cycle
- Foreplay, or a lack of it
- Mental health and emotions
- Medications such as hormonal birth control
And of course—we want to say there’s nothing wrong with those who struggle to self-lubricate. Lube is your friend. Lube makes sexual intercourse or toy play easier, reducing friction and the likelihood or irritation, pain, or tearing.
We recommend lube for all couples and self-pleasure sessions regardless of vaginal wetness.
Signs Of Distress
Vaginal discharge, cervical fluid and arousal fluid are all normal, and they’re indicators of overall vaginal health. Changes in the vaginal canal, the vulva, or fluid and discharge can be indications of health issues. Check in with a healthcare provider if you experience any of the following:
- A change in discharge
- Redness and/or itching
- Bleeding between periods, after sex or after menopause
- Pain during sex and/or while masturbating
Other common health issues include vaginal dryness and weak pelvic muscles, which can cause pain during sex. Often because of this pain, sex becomes less enjoyable and there’s a lack of sexual fulfillment for both you and your partner. When we’re less sexually active, the symptoms get worse. Thus, you get stuck in a self-perpetuating cycle.
However, one of the most accessible treatments for vaginal dryness and weak pelvic muscles is masturbation. Those who masturbate regularly have increased vaginal lubrication and find it easier to become aroused, helping relieve vaginal dryness. During an orgasm the vaginal and uterine muscles contract which can help strengthen weak pelvic floor muscles, making penetrative sex more pleasurable, while also helping alleviate incontinence.
Fight The Nay-sayers
In a world where
vulva-havers consistently orgasm less frequently than male partners, it’s important to understand how a vagina works, what turns your partner on, and how to help them achieve pleasure. It’s equally critical that vulva-havers understand it for themselves, too. Vaginal health is a big part of overall sexual wellness, and indeed of total body wellness. A healthy pelvic floor and vagina makes for a healthier individual.
The best way to fight back against critics is more pleasure. We recommend grabbing a toy or a partner and seeing just how worked up you can get. Then, go tell a friend. Encourage them to do the same. Share the love, so to speak, and don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t enjoy in the bedroom.
In the wise words of Megan and Cardi, “Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy. Give me everything you got for this wet-ass pussy.”