*For continuity of this blog, we will refer to the prostate as the P-spot.

You might want to clear your calendar, because if you’re ready to learn about prostate orgasms you won’t want to leave the bedroom for a while. Just go ahead and put our number down; we’ll cover for when the boss calls.

We’re being lighthearted, but prostate stimulation is no joke; it’s also known as the P-spot and it can result in powerful orgasms. Increased sexual activity can also alleviate or stave off problems with erectile dysfunction! Considering that prostate cancer is a serious issue for many folks, we wanted to talk about stimulating it as a part of overall sexual health and prostate awareness.

Ready for super intense sensations? Let’s get started.

Does Prostate Stimulation Make Me Gay?

First thing’s first: stimulation does not change your sexuality. If you’re a cisgender, straight male, prostate stimulation and the resulting orgasms don’t change that! Think about it this way: using a pleasure device like a dildo wouldn’t make a cisgender straight woman a lesbian. Your body parts don’t define your sexuality, you do. Sexuality and gender are very different, and your genitals don’t dictate either. You’re free to be who you want, enjoy what you want, and define yourself any way you please. Pleasure is a basic human instinct.

In fact, broadening your ideas of masculinity and femininity could make you even more attractive. It is refreshing to see people try something new! It’s confident and sexy, and you don’t have to take our word for it. There’s a reason Harry Styles in a dress drives women crazy. There’s also a reason boys in maid outfits are hugely popular on TikTok. Being confident enough to explore your desires and step outside your comfort zone? We’re definitely into it.

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, let’s get to the good stuff—having super intense P-spot orgasms!

Where Is The P-spot, Exactly?

The P-spot, is a walnut-shaped gland inside the prostate, according to AskMen.com. It’s one of many erogenous zones on the human body.

The P-spot is “located behind the anal wall in the direction of your belly button (two to four inches from the sphincter),” says Michael Alvear, founder of CallMeMaybe.us, for AskMen.com “Be careful! The prostate is very sensitive. Do not poke and prod, instead caress and stroke. Press gently. Use feather-light touches.”

External Prostate Stimulation

If you’re nervous about prostate stimulation, that’s normal. You may want to start off with external stimulation since it’s a little less intrusive. You’ll want to start by setting the mood; a sexy bath or foreplay makes you or a partner more relaxed and ready for exploration.

You might try sensual massage, too, because it helps with two key areas: arousal and lube. Lube is always, always important, and because the P-spot can be stimulated externally you can opt for a massage oil like our own Fluid Coco, made with only two organic ingredients. Giving or receiving erotic massage that focuses on the erogenous zones (think: nipples, neck, bum, etc.) gets you hot, bothered, and lubed up.

When you’re ready, invite a partner to externally massage the prostate. Using the tips of your index and middle fingers, gently rub and stroke the perineum. Healthline describes this as the “landing strip of skin that runs between the scrotum and anus.”

If they’re able to go down on you at the same time, even better. Be vocal with communication and let your partner know if they’re on the right path; finding the P-spot takes a lot of time and patience. But the payoff is so good!

Image is a person's hand holding a tube of Fluid Coco, a massage oil by Lora DiCarlo, against a coral velet background. Fluid Coco is made from organic coconut oil and organic shea butter.Image is a person's hand holding a tube of Fluid Coco, a massage oil by Lora DiCarlo, against a coral velet background. Fluid Coco is made from organic coconut oil and organic shea butter.

Internal Prostate Stimulation

When you’re ready for more, you can advance to internal stimulation. You’ll need a few more supplies: lube that’s safe for penetration, toys, wipes, and a barrier if you like.

Listen closely: you can never, ever have too much lube when it comes to anal play. Anal tissue is sensitive, and hard, fast, penetration hurts if not done properly, even when there is lube. Not having lube is unthinkable. We recommend our own Fluid Aqua, which is safe for all sex toys and your fingers, too.

You’ll also want baby wipes to clean up after. We’ll be plain: there’s no getting around what comes out of your butt. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and preparation will easily reduce… unwanted residue. Clean hands, trimmed fingernails, and baby wipes go a long way toward making anal play successful, as does a barrier like a glove or condom, if you prefer.

When you’re ready, we’d recommend starting off with a finger. Gently insert yours or a partner’s finger, moving very, very slowly and with lots of lube. A couple of inches in, begin to feel for the prostate, toward the front wall of the body. Use the same “come hither” motion recommended for G-spot stimulation (and the internal motion of Osé 2, by the way) to stroke the rounded bulb of tissue.

According to Healthline, you sometimes hear the term “prostate milking” because the prostate can produce a milky fluid. If you see it, keep going—an orgasm is on the way. When you’ve graduated from fingers, you might feel inclined to try a toy. Our new dual-ended warming massager, Sway, is contoured for anal and vaginal exploration. It's warming feature helps your muscles (and sphincters) relax, and brings more circulation to the area, which can enhance arousal and improve your experience.

Image is an animation of Sway, a dual-ended, warming personal massager by Lora DiCarlo. Radiating orange and yellow lines encircle each end of Sway, demonstrating radiating heat.Image is an animation of Sway, a dual-ended, warming personal massager by Lora DiCarlo. Radiating orange and yellow lines encircle each end of Sway, demonstrating radiating heat.

The number one takeaway from any prostate stimulation session should be patience. The exploration will pay dividends, providing intense orgasms you can couple with oral sex or other stimulation. Just know that it may take time, and it may not happen in your first session, or even the first few! Slow down, be patient, and enjoy the ride. Sexual exploration is a gift in and of itself, both for you and the partner it helps you bond with. Enjoy!